By: Rufus Mudsucker
Rent to Own maven

Many people have been credited with "inventing" Rent To Own. After years of research on 3 continents, the RTO Online archeological group has unearthed the "Real Story"

At a dig in Egypt, just outside of Cairo, a tomb was discovered. RTO Online's chief archeologist, professor Rupert "Ziggy" Zigenfielderstien, broke through the tombs outer wall to discover the most elaborate, well documented tomb in history. 

Experts have dated the tomb from the 6th century BC. This amazing discovery proves that RTO has been around much longer than anyone previously suspected.

The name of the Pharaoh buried in the tomb is inscribed in gold above the main entrance. His name was "Hepschutkin" This translates into English as ...

"He who Rents and Collects".

Buried with this previously unknown Pharaoh was a stone tablet. Carved into the tablet were 10 simple rules.

• Thou shalt not enter a customers hut when the customer is not present.
• Thou shalt respect all customers.
• Thou shalt close at 94%.
• Thou shalt carry only the highest quality inventory.
• Thou shalt deliver the same day.
• Thou shalt give superior service.
• Thou shalt not deny service due to bad credit.
• Thou shalt not contact customers after 8 pm.
• Thou shalt not go home until all service is complete.
• Thou shalt covet thy competitions customers.

Other items discovered in the tomb, were offerings to the Egyptian gods of Rent to Own. The chief deity of RTO in ancient Egypt appears to be,
           Bee-oh-are.

He is represented by a golden statue of a man holding a papyrus scroll of inventory in one hand, and a list of past due accounts in the other.

Professor Ziggy is understandably proud of his discovery, but he is not resting on his laurels. He is off to Africa, where there is a report of cave drawings depicting prehistoric men delivering mammoth tusks with no credit check......we will keep you apprised of his progress.